I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could not concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. She is loyal and would care for me no matter what but I cant keep bringing my own life down too to be on her level. Everyday is a battle. Some times its okay but those are only the times when things are easy. I consider myself in recovery. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. It was me rationalising my emotions. The one thing that I would ask that you do before making any kind of rash decision is to think about this- if you know how helpless you feel, can you imagine how helpless she feels too? (Yikes.). Am I giving up too quickly, am I weak, am I selfish I really dont know what I should do or feel right now. Right now, we value the future of our child more than anything else. When asked I would avoid the answer because I really didnt know, and when forced, probably I would put the blame on someone else or act with aggression. It hurt me deeply and I dont know what to do. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. That is why she will fail. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. And it was bad enough that i was married at one time and my Ex wife cheated on me thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her at the time. So even if you don't initially make the connection, your relationship could be why you're always up at night. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. If the answer is yes, talk with your partner ASAP. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. Before this everything was amazing, great relationship, we admitted to each other that we were in love and had fallen head over heals, amazing sex, I really felt like I had found my best friend. Good Luck!! "My problem is that since we have moved in together, she is negative about everything." My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. I would answer, I just want to feel free and safe. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. thanks for everyone comments! "Trust is lost and conflict often results in anger and finger pointing." and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. Dealing with a depressed girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it. How do I approach the situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad? Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. Im not sure I want to be married to someone thats been depressed all her life, its only gonna get worse. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. Good luck! If she did you would know. Every time we go out she freaks out. In order for her to have a chance at any kind of substantive change and lasting relief, she needs to be working on these issues in therapy. Ching, I thank the universe for you, and you for your response. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. There is more to life than this, trust me. I was acting like it all was my boyfriends fault, and I sometimes felt like this. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? Dude, I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. It drives me nuts when she sleeps all day. Tell her its either you or the ex, no friendships either. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. There has to be solutions. Am I codependent? When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. Im so hurt lately, and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt barely talk to me on the late days. Im fed up though. If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. And probably you wonder why I use past tense when I write. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. That takes incredible patience and compassion, but it can also take a toll on you. I am essentially a caretaker now. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has one). deep thoughts in my head And they just keep dragging me down there down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so. And do not try to help, just try to understand. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. He has on multiple occasions told me that he only feels happy, safe and secure around me, and that if it wasnt for me he wouldve killed himself long ago. Yes, we all need help and support and Im in it til death do we part. She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. But I believe in him and that thought is put away. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. She will need manpower to make the move happen. I am opinionated and very understanding. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. I feel like a slave. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. Its hell and theres a lot of doubt in your thoughts like is it my fault, Im I the same, can I not make someone happy, am i insensitive. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! You have to start working on it, push things forward. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians. There are so ways people find happiness and you guys both just need to find yours and you need to know that one day.. You will. Am I taking the wrong approach? I am a twenty year old student. Do something romantic. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. does anyone have any pointers or ideas? Therapy and meds nothing will work. But I feel so guilty and ashamed and like a failure for wanting this and I dont know what to do. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? We used to talk all day, have very long calls every night, laugh a lot, play together. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. Im not really looking for advice with this, just getting something off my chest to the world. It's an affect that's truly worth noting. But she keeps going back to him for friendship,what the eff am I for her now? I suggested he looked to sell the business and get another job to pay the mortgage on the shop so that if he sold it he would have some money did he no!! My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down. She blames herself for everything, and says incredibly negative and hurtful things about her self. But you're dragging me down, down, down, down. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. Its gut wrenching. Cmon guys you know the drill. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. Head up, somewhere we still exist and can grow back to be ourselves. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. Having your sh$t together isnt exactly essential for survival anymore. At the end of the relationship, she finally started seeing a psychologist who believes she shouldnt be in a relationship. When I asked her if she wanted to go get some food, ice cream the mall,she said no for so many reasons. ago Welcome to r/dating_advice! She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. We r loving since 5-6 years! I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. Good luck and remember the love bit. Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. (All is Hell) I stopped seing my friends, I stopped trying to go out, everything was scaring me, literally, I was afraid that a plane will fall down on my home while I was sleeping, all the insane scenarios. I am torn she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after herself. I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. And this is where our problems come in. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. She might even need help to physically move some of the bigger items out (like a couch). It seemed that she had turned into a distant person and the saddest part is that I think she probably wouldnt mind if I couldnt reach her anymore and Im dying inside because of this feeling, slowly Im getting depressing too and I really want out but I am trapped. Begin your own therapy im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 of. To hate me and say I dont know what to do I know hes going to me. Make both of you happier long term, that is the person that youre in a relationship with really to! Get worse make the connection, your romance may be to blame finally. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a.. Cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that the moments should. 'Re always up at night strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy the last months... 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my girlfriend is dragging me down