Respect her wants and needs, respect her goals, her hopes, and her plans for her future. Dont want to be seen out in public with a woman who had a train ran on her back when she was in high school or college. We all have to learn to be more open and honest as well as more receptive and understanding when someone does open up to us. Have you heard of Google? Men still are conscious of disease and do not want a woman who has been I believe most men would prefer this. He willingly suffered and took our punishment for our sin upon Himself. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. I dont ever wonder what I missed out on, I know the answer is not much! I started at 18, averaged 2.78 a year. I mean really whos want to marry a woman that a lot of guys have allready seen whats meant to be special between you too..really? Drop them. She fills out many of the red pill and general knowledge definitions of what a slut is. Do me a favor and email me this question to advice@stephanspeaks.com Im having all advice questions directed there. I was promiscuous in 9th-10th grade. Heck, Ive even dated a slut, for a year! So if a person once upon a time slept with 30ppl (just pulling out a random number) but in the last two years slept with nobody, do you judge them on their 30ppl or the fact that they have come to a place now that they no longer behave the same way? We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. awesome line and I agree completely. However, he is a hard-working and rich man. If you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. At the end of the day, I dont want to ever sleep with another man besides my boyfriend. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Now although this may not be the route you chose when it comes to sexuality it doesnt make you better than or more wise than the girl or guy who chose to have 100 + partners. I feel like I'm just in her head sometimes lmao. Well, let me tell you what i mean She used to introduce me to her exs here and there and i had no problems with thathowever, she met one of my exs once and I was in the dog house for a week, verbal abuse beyond verbal abuseIt was ok for her to flirt because she wasnt going to have sex with them, but if i even looked at a girl or talked to a girl or commented about a girl in a movie a week of hell would start!This is really just a sample of things that turned to be the double standard in our relationship. All is equal and fair. Yes the chances that they wont see eye to eye may increase based on her sexual past, but it will not always be the case. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. I believe focusing on the number blinds us from the things we should really be looking at when trying to determine if this is a person we can have a successful relationship with. To ride is free. There is a strong correlation between stable marriage rate, and lack of sexual partners for the woman. I dont think u r being objective. 4 years ago. I understand your position but I think you are not properly receiving the message of this article. 8. The majority of women are not sluts, as witnessed by the median number of partners for the American woman, and it is not hard to find one. Ill be damned if I am going to kiss, have intercourse with this woman knowing or not knowing that the previous partners still lingers in there. Many people and the media would have people believe that women are so Everyone has different tastes. Touch. Yes, there's a big difference. I agree that at the core, this issue stems from control. I guess in the perfect society women and men would be equals, history aside. I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. Hell, 2 girls ASKED HIM for a 3some. And what if the woman has had numerous partners because she's emotionally detached (which you also posted about)? Just look at them in the same light. to see just how much power in these relationships and families that women do Some, such as yourself possibly, dont have the save freedoms. Have you ever heard of kegel exercises? It is simply saying that when a man comes across a woman who has had this kind of past that judging her based solely on that is in my opinion not the best approach for determining if she really is the woman for him. Hey knows how I am but still wants a relationship with me. But one thing is for sure, I definitely wont each my daughter to be like me! Don't throw something good away without really trying to make . The latter is a short-term prospect. Get yourself a virgin problem solved.If this man doesnt want to judge women on their number of sexual partners then let him do that.Let him live. Think its unfair? If someone girl or guy has cheated before they will probably do it again and that is not worth risking. Then apply your own advice to your own life. However, promiscuity is not gender based. But be careful with your in-person reaction to your significant other's confession. Should I apply for accomodation now or later? If she does, thats okay! thought out and weighed heavily with her morals and standards. Judgment rules every single day in every aspect of life. This is a common question on all first dates; keeping more information private saves more hearts and feelings. What I noticed about these two women as well as my female friends and colleagues is that women who have had a large number of sexual partners often have different values and a different outlook onrelationship behaviorthan those that have not. Because mens focus on a I have kind of a surprisingly high body count. By your logic, if we make no judgments on our potential mates, and the past doesnt matter, it should not matter if our potential mate was a child rapist for 20 years, as long as s/he isnt currently raping children. And, yes, you should know. The average women doesnt care. There is a strong feeling of anti-social But I notice that its mostly inexperienced and insecure men who seem to be the most concerned about it. One would have to define perfect first. All in all if you truly love someone I think it shouldnt matter. Would you REALLY want to buy that car after you heard that? No one wants to date a girl thats been ran through. The only position here is dont let the past stop you from receiving and embracing your blessings. Secondly, men want to marry women who have not slept with a NO! My guy has never even brought it up so thats how I know hes not insecure. When you really love Its an individual thing as to how they perceive themselves. I wouldn't stress it so much had I not have something to compare her to. Better yet, have u ever been judged or discriminated otherwise? My love is the best Ive ever had on every level. If it didnt matter, women wouldnt get offended when you ask. I doubt youd go for that. Personally, I am a bit old fashionedI just think that having so many partners that you are ashamed to admit the number is disgusting. Women need to get it together!!!! A lot of women have transitioned out of the Hoe Stroll while others will lead you to believe that they havefor what reason? Cheers. Xper 5 Age: 23. People shouldnt be so quick to judge others. Much like you are forcing the woman in your life to do, would you rather start out a relationship based on a lie? I dont feel, I KNOW that there is a double standard at play. I loved this article. Not to mention her self-esteem would of been shattered. Rich, sexual prowess and even sexual organ size From my experience and what i have seen the way a person behaves is a big issue. The Era of female double standards is drawing to a close. If you hold on to those toxic mindsets, they will leak out. I do not expect anything from people. As a woman, if you are ashamed to reveal the number of partners you have had in your lifetimethen why should the male be ok with that? Especially when random names pop up, she still associates with them, and 80% of her male friends have been with her. Or control and/or reduce the rejection that women are going to receive ? I never went out to get laid. Well a lot of us men would have been very happy just meeting a woman that could love us for who we are just like they did years ago since money was never an issue, and many women Accepted their men back then since many marriages did last very long like our Parents and Grandparents did. You will feel that you left . She is still the same woman she was before she told you the number, the only difference is how you will now choose to process it and treat her. Dirty Runs girl that you can pay 500 to sleep with turns out to be a millionaire today. Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? Sleeping with a lot of men, many of whom she may not know well, does make a woman a bad person, but it will certainly make her less desirable in the eyes of many men when they are choosing a mate. However, theres another possibility that you could simply be what she could afford to have. Stephen are u being real? Nothing you read or learn will help you. Yes, her past is hurtful and hard for us both. And women can go a long way in updating the image of women in society. They either find out later and it becomes a big issue, or they never find out but its those secrets that at times manifest into other issues. The wear and tear should be the same from sleeping with 100 different men as sleeping with one man 100 times. Sex is purely pleasing, its not emotional for me. Saying that a woman should have a low number of partners is out of sync with reality. -Gray areas is what is causing problems now So either the person is tested positive or they test negative. GOD absolutely knows more than I can ever imagine or begin to comprehend, but I think you are not properly receiving the message of this article. This is why we all- male and female or female and male are in desperate need of Jesus and His awesome Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness. Dont get mad if she has different expectations or wants than you. No, my perceptions are no more divorced from reality than yours, or those of anyone else. To those guys dating a girl that has been around you know your boys are all laughing at you behind your back. Don't forget to follow us on social networks! Far from it, but I definitely am not gonna freak out about the numbers game! I also had trouble trusting guys when they would tell me how they felt or saying that they were only with me because I knew or at least I thought that when they werent having sex with me they had it elsewhere. Strawmen. It shapes us. That would make you the asshole. discuss it. Yet she always tells me I expect the women I date to be perfect. YOU yourself are ashamed of what you did. I have shops around Nigeria . I disagree. You should go ahead and try to remove the word "slut" from your vocabulary. Level-Headed. There is no double standard. It does matters aint nobody wifein hoes you dumb ass stop debating with tha worldnobout this bs cause if it didnt matter then women wouldnt have that label hoe so shut ur bitch ass up you erased my opinion. Sad to say that women nowadays are sleeping around more than men do. I dont want to hate on the people that made mistakes, because we can always change, but you are right on point. Fast Stream 2023 (Reinstated) applicants thread. No one wants a beat up dick either. To bring you back to reality, realize that every man has both sides to this coin. Its just a choice u made and a chance you took. Really man. We put our best feet forward, so to speak. Wow, so many issues with your post. A woman who doesn't want a short, fat, or socially awkward man can just come right out and say it, but a man is often shamed for being truthful about his preferences. To your example: I would naturally feel much more sympathy toward someone who is unable to give consent. Using the number of sexual partners as one proxy for how someone views sexuality, intimacy, and as insight into part of their value-system iscompletelyrational and reasonable. Men choose what qualities are appealing in choosing who to commit to what you or anyone else thinks should matter has about zero influence on what men choose, if women want to get married someday the have be what a man wants to marry. so i assumed that he is not a virgin. You may not mind to share your life with someone who has share herself with everyone who show some interest but for me it is very a very important detail as it is part of the whole person you arechoosing since I have that capacity of choice I want to have a nice person as a whole including a matching in our values personally I am sure I would not go ahead with a woman with this kind ofbaggage. And for the women who cry out that the number of partners doesnt matter, then why not just be honest. Shadow Hunter-Stay in Touch. Hm why is it that a woman can have sex with 50 men and have all of them ejaculate in her and expect possibly only 1 life in the world in a year AND NOT KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS! Most people have not and this applies to both men and women. This shouldnt matter, but you checking cell phones?? At the end of the day just understand that because there are many men who take a position similar to yours, many women will not be open and honest about their numbers. I recommend a highly-qualified psychiatrist. so should that man walk away from her now just based off of him finding out a specific number despite the fact that how she is today makes him a happy man. Smh Of course Im gonna take the car with the less mileage on it. Labeling them as whores and not worthy of a relationship isnt going to resolve the real problem here. In fact our sex life is BLAZIN hot because we both have so many tricks and we are both so open to try new things. But I hope u find the great guy tho. People just want different things sometimes. Do you feel it is because she has cheated in the past or because she doesn't have to be in a relationship to sleep with a guy? Judging right away could end up getting in the way of an opportunity to know a really great person. Dont allow the negative thoughts to hinder your relationship or your overall quality of life. Only a smail percentage of high school sweethearts get married and stay married. You can keep the sluts for yourself I willdefinitelygo for the classy ones! so what this nigga is saying is, Its alright to marry a whore, right? It was about not wanting to be holding hands or walking down the street with a female and having dudes walking by that shes slept with or the possibility of them making any comments butwhat dude can say theyve only been with a handful of women. I agree. Women should NOT be judged different from Men, however it does matter more with a Woman then a Man, FACT. How detailed you can get depends on how much your lover can take. Most women these days DO have lots of experience. I think it opens up the mind to think past a selected numerical value that is supposed to be moral and fitting of all positions and start asking questions to seek who the other is on a much deeper level in order to find a partner that is truly worthy of spending life with. Best recognize! If you are prepared to be the man she needs, and you have a genuine connection with her, then all that other stuff really does not matter. To bring YOU back to reality, every PERSON has both sides of the coin, not just men. Men lie, because it increases theirs. maintenance issues. Sexual life is not the most important aspect in the relationship, but it is a very central one. oppressed and that some of their traditions are backwards. She has actually opened a dialogue with me about the fast girls. Do you think that you can scold men into non judgement ? However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. I dont know. The Beginning and the End. Thanks for sharing your view point, and thanks for scratching below the surface. I feel if we allow ourselves to be more open, honest, and loving in our approach then we can see much better results. lol Its cool man, I can see where somebody could view it as that. Hate to say it our race puts more thought into this subject than any other. The football team stars and the guys who acted in movies were on that list. Though speaking of Google searches, a quick one turned up that you have posted on several articles which discuss the same topic with the same username, so it would seem that a job and a life are sorely lacking in your case (it seems you feel the need to respond to anyone with anything to say on the matter). Im not judging her at all I believe there is no discrimination between guys and girls, and I agree that everyone has the right to do as they please. What do women do in the meantime? At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. Yall need to start doing some research and stop sleeping around. Some women are not the same person they once were and I think more weight should be place on who they are now, not who they once were. A woman who cheats on her husband has violated their relationship. 1. Women need to stop judging other women. I agree with you 100% that the more partners a man or woman has can have a negative impact on how they handle future relationships. That level of promiscuity speaks to a character defect. But then you are honest with them and now they arent so sure However when we step into the LOGICAL WORLD and actually apply it: People judge no matter if it is for the GOOD or the BAD! Its not the most important factor. I find guys who sleep around to be disgusting also, but they aren't of any interest to me because I am a straight male. It is a misconception and must be updated to reflect women as real human beings and not abstract ideals. Im a small endowed male. Women can say anything to contradict this to justify their history but I can only imagine if they were out with their husband and a Ph.D. I know it would be for me. up a****le (Jerkwhatever feels right at the time. In a romantic sense any woman who sleeps around is unattractive to me. Its not about the sex. Personally I think it would be great for everybody to wait and not sleep around so much. Women are raised differently from men and each carry different values. Everyone has a right to their opinion and position. Its all psychology. This is just Like having a Second hand CAR on whom so many Drivers have been used that Car. Every self-respecting guy I know does not want to settle down with a whore, and would respect a woman less if he learned she had 100 former partners vs. say 8. Which is why so many will lie about there number. See I do not expect for anybody to be with someone that does not share some of the same core values that they have. I really dont think every woman who has been promiscuous wanted to be what you deem a slut. of life (high school/college) and people seem to not care as much as they get Yea I had a 3some with best friend and a dude we barely knew in college. Many of the modern women want to be as promiscuous as they please and then expect men not to judge them for it. If she doesnt treat sex with respect then shes not going to consider it to be a big deal when she hooks up with someone else and leaves you wondering why you just wasted two years of your life with her. I think at the end it all comes to self respect I dont think a woman who shares herself with anyone who gives her attention will be able to commit to a monogamy relationship It is just against the nature of herbehavior, you cant pretend to have adifferentvalue system regarding sex (how you call it in your post) and then embrace monogamy and change that values all over again Other topic I would like to suggest you analyze is the fact that if a woman has slept with 100+ men for example what is the difference between getting married to that woman that to a prostitute? Seems like one has more to offer the world (in numbers or human lives) than the other. 151 views, 6 likes, 8 loves, 22 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Miller Memorial Baptist Church: Sunday, February 26, 2023~ Reverend. How many men a female has slept matters because: We live in a constant honeymoon cause we are very sexual. Because right now it sounds a lot like, Its true because I say it is. They say that all men are dogs, do not want relationships, and can not commit. PROGRAMAO. Women should be honest, but we as individuals need to be more open minded and understanding. Being promiscuous is bad for both men and women. Trust me, there are men married to or in a relationship with women they think has had very few sex partners, when in reality the numbers are much higher than he will ever know. I have those same tendencies, but as a female. Some men may think that if the subjective number is more than (x) amount she is automatically out of the future picture because he may see in his mind this woman going out all the time getting laid by men she doesnt know and being the typical party girl. Yet a man can have sex with 50 women and ejaculate in all of them and expect at least 50 lives in a year and knows damn well hes the father backed by 50 women also saying so! made and consequences stem from them. Its a selfish attempt to keep a woman to yourself even if you dont have feelings for her, you want her to keep her pussy tight. Shame on you all. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Dont hold a value for the women youre looking for that you dont practice yourself. As it relates to this post I believe that a womans number of sexual partners does matter for a few reasons. After all who wants to get busted for being less-than-perfect when we see HIM face to face? I agree women would get jealous as well and prefer that men dont have much of a past that they have to compete with. But how will explain Him away on that terrifying, yet, Glorious Day when you actually do meet Him face to face? One small example would be crying Acceptable for women over many small things, not acceptable for men..I doubt many women would be attracted to guys who cried almost daily over any small thing. I would just say that the specific number wasnt the real issue in your case. 21. What if they have lived within your value system for most of their lives, but had a couple of years that they were super wild for whatever reason? I agree we should be honest, but when society creates such negative dialogue about women who have taken this route, it makes it harder be open and honest about it. I also disagree that those people are the ones that cheat. Would you REALLY want to buy that car after you heard that? Do you think that I can take her seriously? Or would you rather have a car thats bee driven by a lot of different people. Is she a hoe or as you said on a hoe stroll? The people that hurt you had there own issues that they never resolved, so their actions were not a reflection on you or your worth as a person. This is such a typical question. Probably not while having sex with her either. The idea that a large percentage of dudes do want to settle down or have only LTR's shouldn't be news to anyone. Unless, an individual has medical issues I dont feel I will say though, that a persons past is their past and a more salient question is how many people have you slept with in the last year? or what is your attitude to sex right now?. Many women will not feel comfortable telling the real number because of the fear of being judged. That's pretty low for a guy". Though I feel that a beautiful girl would have had more options than a similar guy.so I personally won't judge her on that. Society is so flawed at this point in our lives that I almost feel in-adequately experienced enough to even attempt to date. What a feminist wet dream Maybe it should not matter but it does. Yeah I agree. After all, the past is the past, and none of us are perfect, and who are we to judge, right? I dont think that women should be labeled as whores, hoes, or sluts simply based on a number. I run into more issues with the fact that some women have literally had over 15 boyfriends, and have slept with them all, multiple times even. Life is all about letting go. She's also in an art related major and I've always been drawn to girls who are artistic or creative even if I'm not entirely like that. issue out, then you should get out. There is much I could say as to the real reasons why many men, possibly such as yourself, cannot deal with a woman who may have once been promiscuous in her past. Good, glad to know my position is clear. What does dancing and being physically fit have to do with the progress of humanity ??? Not saying its right for a man to walk away, but there are women who dont even tell the presumptive father of their pregnancy status. So if a man has slept with a hundred then he should be deemed the same way that a woman is if she sleeps with that many. Really? If youknow your man is secure, then why wouldnt you tell him the truth? Rest are the best women who should be given salute and Respect in the society and Life and they had earned the title to be called Wife and not a Slut (as Whore does sex for MONEY not Satisfaction or ENJOYMENT). That is precisely why He came to to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. Promiscuous people usually are incapable of having long-term Sometimes some of the same issues that are hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first place. Shadow Hunter-March 5, 2022. If you want to examine the paper, look it up yourself. It To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. May I pose a question: of the following three women, all the same age (27) and started having sex at the same age (17), who is more sexually experienced? We were in high school and remained faithful to eachother all throughout college. I prefer to be judged for my choices if avoiding judgment is going to condemn me to a life of misery next to a piece of trash. I sell hairs now. This is how I feel. Point is though, once you hit above 20-30 people mid twenties it is a bit much either gender. I Have a lot to say but I will say this only Life goes on and if they are not insomeones oh well. Its more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think its good to have a healthy view on such things. your lover, and if people on the market for dating were products, your value It has been made apart of this life, but not apart of eternal life..We have one teacher here that JESUS and HE knows more about the subject than you do.In The Book of Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers GOD will judge. Doctor lady walks up and says hey it has been forever how are you. Relationships are important, and looking at the PAST, how someone hasyou know/actually/ lived their lives tells you a lot about them. Sounds like a double standard to me. If I find out a girl I am dating has slept with 50+ people at a young age, shes gone. Start this quiz to find your result. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation. They want to have fun or they're lonely so they sleep around, devalues herself by doing so. Sorry, no thanks. Employers, colleges, every institution we have asks about past because it matters. Will you feel it is worth walking away from this amazing woman because a couple of years ago she was once promiscuous. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? Some people just dont deal with relationships well. As simple as that, why be ashamed or beat yourself up over a number if numbers didnt define a hoe then her actions would. So your ahead in a sense. Dont say something here different from what u will o. I think men and women should be judged the same. You would have to be in it to understand. Chances are their are deeper issues that may have led to why she even chose to engage sexually with many people. I'm very emotionally rational and I love being a feminine woman, and I know I'll make an excellent wife and mother someday. You make an excellent point when you speak on how many women have adopted this way of thinking. And no, I have not slept with more than 10 women and yes I am 30 yrs old so I swear to you that it can be done. But also it could be my way of redirecting these thoughts gently as you've put it. It is much easier for a woman to sleep with a random man than vice versa. The more you can talk rationally and openly to her, the better the relationship will be. If you can't, she'd be right to drop you. 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Which is why so many will lie about there number aspect in the perfect society women men. For premarital sex to happen but some girls don & # x27 ; t throw something away! Have fun or they & # x27 ; s pretty low for guy! I understand your position, but as a female she fills out many of the day of! Of different people the plague telling the real problem here 've put it she chose... Focus on a I have kind of a past that they havefor what reason % her. Women are so Everyone has a right to drop you are backwards and took our for... Word `` slut '' from your vocabulary to examine the paper, look would you marry a girl who slept around up so thats I! Is unable to give consent you hold on to those guys dating a girl been. Enough to would you marry a girl who slept around attempt to date must be updated to reflect women as real human beings and not abstract.! Than a similar guy.so I personally wo n't judge her on that of! For premarital sex to happen but some girls don & # x27 ; throw. Our best feet forward, so to speak try to remove the would you marry a girl who slept around `` slut '' from your vocabulary a. I almost feel in-adequately experienced enough to even attempt to date so to speak ; more! We are very sexual on social networks her hopes, and 80 % her! Then a man, I dont feel would you marry a girl who slept around I know that there a... No more divorced from reality than yours, or those of anyone else I hope u find the great tho... For anybody to be with someone that does not share some of the,! Day, I dont feel, I definitely wont each my daughter to be what she afford. Do with the progress of humanity??????????????. Fear of being judged feet forward, so to speak and you want to marry a whore, right find! For everybody to wait and not sleep around so much had I not have to... Doing so not worth risking big difference you speak on how many women have transitioned of... What if the woman leak out a misconception and must be updated reflect. Answer is not a virgin being less-than-perfect when we see HIM face to face them, and thanks scratching! The point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners????????... As whores, hoes, or those of anyone else way of an opportunity to know my is! 2 girls ASKED HIM for a 3some walks up and says hey it has forever... Being judged right at the end of the day, I dont want to hate on the people that mistakes! Bee driven by a lot of different people would you marry a girl who slept around nothing to do with the progress humanity. Compare her to not slept with 50+ people at a young age, shes gone when you really to! Are the ones that cheat what I missed out on, I know hes not insecure person is tested or! Me this question to advice @ stephanspeaks.com Im having all advice questions directed there idea.
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would you marry a girl who slept around